


This time it's personal

by captainswanandclintasha



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 05:08:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainswanandclintasha/pseuds/captainswanandclintasha
Summary: Summary: They didn’t start together, as a pair. They didn’t even know each other. But she had heard stories before, about how there were skaters who knew they were meant to be a pair from the first moment they danced together and, for the first time in ten years, Emma finally understood those stories.





	This time it's personal

**Author's Note:**

> More details: CS skaters AU inspired by VirtueMoir with lots of hints towards them (I am sending cookies to everyone who can guess all the hints to VM), friend-to-lovers, secret dating...   
> Many thanks to @awkwardnessandbaseball and @onceuponaprincessworld who betaed the story :D  
> Enjoy!

They met on the rink when Emma was eight and Killian was ten. They became fast friends, bonding over their mutual love for skating and watching the older pairs skating after their practice was over. They tried to imitate what they saw the others doing, even if, at the time, Emma was paired with Neal, her coach's son, and Killian was paired with Regina, his coach’s daughter. There were days when they were training at the same time, in the same rink and they just liked to spend time together after their partners had gone home.

Sadly, when Emma was ten, Neal was sent to live with his mother on the other side of the country and Emma was left alone. She considered participating in the solo competitions, but it was harder than she thought, and after a few competitions, she gave up. She was then paired with Walsh, a boy who came out of nowhere and no one in Storybrooke knew anything about. But still, Robert Gold (as Killian called Emma’s couche, thanks to the wound he had on his leg), thought that Walsh would be a good partner for Emma, and she couldn’t say no to a new partner who was, supposedly, good at ice dancing.

He wasn’t. It was a disaster, they couldn’t even pretend they had any chemistry and, most importantly, Emma hated Walsh. She was fourteen by the time her hate for him grew into pure disgust. Walsh was obsessed with the idea that Emma should go out with him, even if she made her intentions very clear to him more than once. He also started to touch her where he was not supposed to, during their dances. One time, when they were practicing a lift, Walsh was supposed to lift her up and hold her in the air for a few seconds and then let her down so she could finish with a spin. But Walsh decided to mess that up and instead of putting his hands on her waist and let her down so she could do the spin, he put her down, pressed her closer to his body and slide his hands down her ass. To say that she wanted to punch him right in that moment would be an understatement.

So she told Killian. Killian, her best friend who agreed to meet with her, in secret, in a rink that was a few blocks away from the usual rink they were using, just so Emma could train with someone who knew what to do when he had a pair of skates on his feet. Killian once showed Emma how to punch hard enough in case she ever wanted to take care of Walsh. But on the day Emma told him what Walsh had tried, Killian jumped out of his skates and literally ran to the rink where they usually trained and stopped only when his punches hit Walsh’s nose three times.

Killian was in trouble for that, with both his own coach and Walsh’s, but Emma stepped in and told them the truth about Walsh’s obsession and his behavior. So Killian was forgiven and Walsh was kicked off of the team. So at the end of the day, Walsh was gone from Emma’s life but she was, once again, left without a partner.

A few months later, Regina decided that she wanted to pursue a solo career. Emma felt a bit selfish for being excited about this development, as it left Killian without a partner. She’d wanted to ask Killian to be her partner for quite some time. Finally, she would get to see if he felt the same. They were sitting at Granny’s one day when she finally got up the courage to ask.

* * *

 

“We’re both alone now,” Emma said while the waiter was putting their plates of food on the table.

Killian looked at Emma with a small smile on his face and started to talk, “I’m sure you’ll find a new partner, Emma. You are an amazing, talented skater. Anyone would be lucky to be your partner,” Killian said encouragingly.

“Anyone?” Emma asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Anyone,” Killian nodded confidently.

“Even you?” Emma finally asked, shaking her right leg nervously unders the table.

Killian raised an eyebrow in confusion, “What do you mean, love?”

“I’ve been thinking, for quite some time, about us. Us as a team,” Emma finished.

She looked at Killian with narrowed eyes and found him looking down at the table in front of him. After a few minutes passed, with no answer from Killian, Emma thought that perhaps he didn’t want to be her partner and as much as she was disappointed, she understood.

“I mean, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to, Killian. I understand,” Emma said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

Then Killian raised his head and looked at her. Looking in Killian’s eyes, Emma thought that perhaps there was still a chance for her.

“No, Emma!” Killian said and then quickly slapped his hand over his mouth. “I mean, no, don’t think I don’t want to,” he took Emma’s hand in his. “I would love for us to be partners,” he told her, a big smile on his face.

“Really?” Emma asked excitedly.

“Really!”

And so, together, they started a new chapter of their lives. Perhaps the most important one o far.

Of course, it was hard at first. Gold didn’t want Killian to be Emma’s partner and Cora didn’t want Emma to be Killian’s partner since her and Regina were always in some sort of competition with each other, but Emma and Killian did not give up. They continued training in secret and they started to familiarise with each other more and more. Then one day Gold and Cora saw them. Of course Emma and Killian didn’t know they were watching, but after the song was finished, they were surprised to see their coaches watching them from the side.

“You might make a good team after all,” Gold said simply.

And so they began working together. Their bond became even stronger. They started to open more to each other, they told each other stories, how they started to skate and how they grew up, how each of them had other dreams, Emma wanted to be a skater and Killian wanted to be a hockey player, but Emma fell in love with ice dancing thanks to her cousin, Elsa, and Killian couldn’t afford to pay for hockey classes.

______________________________________________________________

_Emma told him how she used to watch Elsa on the rink, in her blue, sparkling dress, back when she used to train in the town. Emma watched every lift and spin and jump Elsa was doing and she used to imagine how it would feel, to be in the middle of the rink and let yourself move along with the music and just… be free. Or at least that’s how Elsa looked like when she was skating. She looked free._

_So Emma asked her Elsa if she could teach her a few moves, just to see how it was. Instead of showing her just a few, basic, moves, Elsa took Emma under her wing and together with Ingrid they taught her how to move on the ice. It was like that for two years, until Elsa and Ingrid moved to Norway so Elsa could be a part of the Norwegian Olympic team. But before they left, Ingrid introduced Emma to Robert Gold and his son, Neal. That’s how the two of them started to skate together._

_Emma was still talking to Elsa from time to time and, even if Elsa moved into coaching she still found time to come and watch Emma during her competitions. She even knew about Killian and how good he was with and for Emma._

_Killian also told her how he started to skate. It was not love at first sight, not with the ice dancing, at least. He fell in love with the idea of skating when he watched Liam doing it during his games. Hockey seemed like an interesting game to play, so he tried it for a while. He learned fast how to skate, but playing hockey was a bit harder. He couldn’t do it, no matter how much Liam tried to teach him. He even paid for Killian to take some classes and learn, properly, how to play hockey, but he just couldn’t do it. Then one day Cora Mills, Queen of Ice Dancing at that time, had a demonstration at their rink and he decided to go too, just for fun. Cora also came with her partner and they started to learn the kids new tricks on how to dance on ice just like her and her partner. Each kid had a partner besides Killian. He wasn’t even supposed to be there, let alone have a partner, so for that day he got paired with Regina Mills, Cora’s daughter. At the end of the day Killian knew more ice dancing steps than he ever learned in months of trying to learn how to play hockey._

_To his surprise, Cora came to him and asked him if he wanted to join her and her daughter. Initially, Killian said no, knowing just how expensive ice dancing classes were, but Cora told him that he will train with Regina and her coach and he wouldn’t have to worry about the money. He told Liam later that night and his bigger brother encouraged him and told him to do what he liked the most. So Killian ended up saying yes to Cora and started training with Regina. They trained together with Regina’s coach for two more years, until Cora retired and moved into coaching too. Regina and Killian were her first project and Cora always had big plans for them._

______________________________________________________________

Their personal friendship wasn’t the only one that got better since they started to work together, their technique was much better than with any other partner they had before. Emma already knew that Killian was the one for her.

She heard stories before, about how there were skaters who knew they were meant to be a pair from the first moment they danced together and, for the first time in ten years, Emma finally understood those stories. She felt safe in Killian’s arms, she was okay with his hands on her body. He was making her fly every time he threw her in the air, he always caught her with strong arms. She was loving every moment of being his partner and Emma could tell that he was feeling the same.

“Thank you,” Emma told him one afternoon, after their practice.

They just finished another hard practice and decided that they needed some ice cream and a walk in the park..

“For what?” Killian asked, looking at her with one eyebrow raised.

“For agreeing to do this with me.”

“You’re my partner, Emma,” Killian told her softly.

“But I wasn’t when you said yes.”

“No, you were my best friend.”

Emma smiled at him and turned her attention back to the ice cream. They continued to walk around the park, trying to relax, but Emma couldn’t get one thing out of her mind.  

She looked at Killian with worry in her eyes. “What are we going to do?” She asked him.

“When?” Killian asked, looking at her confused.

“In Sochi, Killian!”

“We are going to do what we do best and we are going to win,” Killian told her. But he seemed to notice the nervous look on her face, so he continued. “I am always sure when it comes to us, Emma,” Killian said with a wink.

Emma rolled her eyes but deep down in her heart she felt that he was talking about more than just ice skating.

Still, Sochi was a new and hard to believe idea for them. They won most of the nationals and worlds in the last few seasons and somehow, without Emma realizing when it happened, they were chosen to be part of the US team at the Olympics in Sochi. It was really a miracle, she cried when she found out and Killian held her in his arms for a full hour, and then, later that night, she cried again when she told Ingrid and Elsa about it.

Days passed slowly after that, then weeks and then months. They went from one competition to another and to their surprise (most of the time) they went back home with  first places and medals around their necks. It was an amazing thing, Emma had the time of her life and she was happy that Killian was there to share it all with her.

They had one more stop before Sochi and that was in Vancouver. The competition was two days long, nothing compared to the others but enough to break them. Emma felt off before the competition. Her legs were hurting her, badly, and she knew they shouldn’t feel the way they did. She did everything right, she didn’t force herself or work out more than normal and yet her legs were aching. Emma didn’t tell Killian because she didn’t want to worry him. Besides, she hoped the pain will be gone in the morning.

It wasn’t.

Emma woke up that morning not only with the same pain in her legs but also with a very intense pain in her lower back.

“Emma, are you okay?” Killian asked her at breakfast.

Emma couldn’t answer because she knew that once opened her mouth, Killian would know that nothing was okay with her. So instead she just nodded at him and tried to put on a smile.

“Don’t lie to me, love,” Killian said, already with a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m fine,” Emma whispered, trying to avoid direct contact with his eyes.

But of course Killian knew right away she was lying. He always told her she was an open book to him. “Like hell. Emma, what is going on?” Killian asked her with even more worry in his voice.

“Nothing, Killian. Just let it go,” Emma snapped at him.

Killian looked at her, opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something more, but then closed it when Emma narrowed her eyes as if she was ready to start a fight with him if he didn’t drop the subject.

Emma was glad Killian let it go for the moment, but for the rest of the day she could tell he was more careful with her and what she needed.

Before the competition, Emma started to feel better, but right before the beginning of their program, the pain, together with a new dizziness, came back. Emma forced herself to move onto the ice and skate as well as she had during practise but the dizziness was getting worse with every twirl and lift. In the middle of the program it got so bad that she started to feel like she would puke. But she had to be strong, she had to follow the program and make everything perfect.

But then, during their last lift, Emma couldn’t take it anymore. She felt it coming,  felt her consciousness slipping away. Her vision blurred and her legs were betraying her, right as she was supposed to jump from Killian’s arms, onto the ice.

She tried her best to make the jump, to land on her legs and then be done with it. The program would be complete after that. But she knew she couldn’t stop it now. She felt herself falling, she stretched out her arms, trying to grab onto Killian, but it was too late.

Somewhere in the distance, as she was falling on the cold ice of the rink and the darkness was surrounding her, Emma could make out Killian’s desperate voice, calling her name. Then she finally closed her eyes.

When Emma opened them again, she was surrounded by light. The bright, white light was making her eyes hurt, so she closed them and turned her head to the left, before trying to open them again. This time the light wasn’t there, but instead she let out a deep breath at the sight in front of her. Killian was in a chair, close to her bed,  with his eyes closed.  He was sleeping, she could tell then, but maybe what surprised her the most was the fact that he was still dressed in the dark costume he wore during the competition.

“Killian?” She whispered and stretched her hand to touch him. Killian wasn’t too far away from her bed but still, thanks to the wires that were all over herself and keeping her from moving too much. Since she couldn’t reach him, she tried to say his name again, this time louder. “Killian!”

This time, Killian opened his eyes and looked at Emma. When he saw she was awake and her hand was stretched towards him, he jumped from the chair and dropped on his knees besides her bed.

“Hey beautiful,” Killian said with a small smile and putting his palm on her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“What happened?”

“You passed out on the ice,” Killian answered softly.

“Did we lose?” Emma asked him, part of her wanting to find out on what place they finished in thanks to her.

“That’s what you care about?” Killian asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah.”

Killian raised on his feet and moved a hand through his hair, “We were in fourth place, Emma,” Killian said with a sigh.

“Good,” Emma said, nodding at him.

It was not good, not really, not for a pair that was going to the Olympics, but considering the fact that she passed out in the middle of the rink… it was good. At least they weren’t in last.

“What do you mean, Emma?” Killian asked her and this time he wasn't really trying to hide his anger.

“What?” Emma asked confused.

“You passed out. On. The. Ice!” Killian yelled at her. “You don't even care what happened with you?” He said again, this time trying to calm his voice. “You don’t care about your health? Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling well, Emma? We are a team here.”

But Emma didn't had time to answer because right then the door opened and Cora entered the room followed by the doctor. The doctor, Victor Whale, started to ask questions Emma was not in the mood to answer, but, as she tried to answer to them, she saw Killian exiting from the room, leaving her alone with the doctor and Cora.

She tried to concentrate on what the doctor was saying but she couldn't take her mind away from Killian and his reaction. He was right, she was too concentrated on winning and she put aside her health She just didn’t want to miss this competition and have to worry about Sochi. To make it to the Olympics had been her dream since she was six and she was not going to miss that now.

But, the information the doctor was telling her might change that: she was in bad condition

It was worse than she thought: the nerves in her legs were deteriorating and she had a rare condition that, apparently, couldn’t be treated, she had to live with the disease and with the pain in her legs and back.

She might have to give up on figure skating.

She refused to talk to anyone else that day. She didn’t even want Killian with her in the hospital room. She wanted to be alone for the rest of the day. Just her and her thoughts.

The next day, she let Killian visit. She barely slept the night before, she was tired, but most importantly, she was scared. Scared of what the future may hold for her and scared of what may happen with her career. She needed her best friend and partner with her.

Killian came in the room, holding a  newspaper. When he gave it to Emma, she stared at the front page. The was a picture with her, laying on the ice and Killian kneeling beside her, worry present all over his face.

She opened the newspaper and started to read the article about her. After she finished it, she looked at Killian with an eyebrow raised.

“Calcium problem?” Emma asked, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Killian raised his shoulders in a shrug and then started to explain to her, “Cora and Gold took care of it and told everyone that you simply didn’t have enough calcium in your blood and it caused you to pass out.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Killian’s words. “We both know that’s not true,” she said, putting down the newspaper.

Killian sat on the chair besides her bed and dropped his shoulder. “I know,” he said with a low voice, but then he raised his head and looked at her again. “But that shouldn’t get you down, love.”

Emma shook her head, starting to feel the tears gathering in her eyes. “I might never be able to skate again.”

Killian took her hand in his before starting to talk again. “You are strong, Emma. Nothing can stop you.”

“The doctor said this condition is usually inherited from one parent.”

“Emma,” Killian said in a warning voice, knowing very well were she was going with that.

Emma ignored him, instead she continued to talk. “They not only let me grow up alone, but they also… cursed me, with this!” Emma yelled in frustration. “My dreams of winning a gold medal at the Olympics are gone!”

“I… read some things, last night,” Killian said. “Many people only feel the pain when it’s cold outside. Like during the winter.”

“What we are doing is happening in the middle of the fucking winter, Killian,” Emma said, finally letting the tears falling on her cheeks “I am sorry Killian. You worked as much as I did to get to the Olympics and now I am stopping you too,” Emma said with sadness in her voice, not looking at him.

Killian put a hand under her chin and raised her head so she could look into his eyes. She expected to see hurt and regret, maybe anger, but Killian had a soft look on his face.

“I would never blame you for any of this, love,”  Killian assured her, stroking her cheeks with his fingers, “besides, I know you. You are strong. One day I know you will have that gold medal around your neck,” Killian encouraged her.

Emma looked at him, unwilling to believe it. “Maybe. Or maybe not.”

Killian opened his mouth to say more but he closed it back before any words came out. Instead he put his arms around her and hugged her. She had to give him some credit for that: he knew what to do when Emma was sad and he was not supposed to say anything. This time, actions spoke louder than words and Killian’s hug calmed her more than any words could have.

They had to start talking about it again when Cora came in the room, two hours later, followed closely by Gold. She asked Emma if she wanted to give an official statement, about her status and about what she was going to do with Sochi, what they were going to do. But Emma was not in the mood for thinking about it, so she told Cora she wanted a few days to think about it and to talk about it with Killian too, since it was about him just as much as it was about her. Cora gave her exactly five days.

For the first three, Emma almost made peace with the idea that she might need to step away from going to Sochi that year and to step away from the USA skating team. It was not something she liked nor wanted but Killian, Gold and Cora explained to her that perhaps it would be better this way. To take care of her own health before something else.

Killian almost begged her to realise that, telling her that nothing was more important than her health and that forcing herself would do no good to her. He told her that by taking a pause and working with a physician would give her more chances to be part of the American team later, maybe even at the next Olympics.

She understood. Eventually.

Then on the fourth day Neal called. He was going to Sochi, with Tamara, the officials offering them a place in the US team after their last competition. He also told her that he did not believe what people said about her and her condition.

“A bad case of dehydration doesn’t make you pass out,” Neal said into the phone. He then admitted that he asked his father about her, and that Gold told him the truth about her health.

“Too bad you might not go to Sochi, Emma,” Neal said at the end of the conversation. “I know how much you wanted to have that gold. I’ll send you a picture with the medal,” Neal ended on a mocking tone.

The way he said it made Emma really angry. She wanted to jump on a plane and go to the other side of the country and punch him right then and there.

She spend that night, in her bed, researching the disease she had. On the last day of her thinking period, she called Killian, Cora and Gold, told them she wanted a meeting at the rink. What she told them shocked them all.

“I want to go to Sochi,” was all she said, when they were finally all in the same room.

For a moment no one said anything and Killian, Cora and Gold were looking at Emma with wide eyes. But then Killian was the first to broke and he practically yelled at her.

“Are you out of your bloody mind?”

“I am, actually,” Emma nodded at him with a smile on her face. “I spent the night reading about Charcot Marie Tooth and what it meant to have this disease. You have to live with it and you have to kick its ass. So that’s what I’m going to do,” Emma said proud and determinate.

“You also don’t have to force yourself,” Killian snapped.

“I can do this,” Emma retorted.

Emma looked at Killian, provoking him with her eyes to say more and when he opened his mouth to talk, she was already ready with a comeback. But Killian never got to say what he wanted to, because Gold raised a hand between them and started to talk.

“Miss Swan, are you sure?” He asked her. “Doing this might put you in even more danger. “

Emma nodded at him, full aware of her decision and what might do to her. “Positive. I want to do it.”

And so they started all over again. They couldn’t change the program, not when it would take them months to learn a new one, so they had to make the one they had perfect. Perfect enough for the gold but also perfect enough so Emma could skate it, even with her condition.

They worked more than usual. There were days when she got home and stayed in bed for hours, cursing every deity that gave her this disease . Sometimes she stayed in bed and cried, the pain being too hard to bear.

Killian was with her all the time, supporting her and helping her when the pains were back and she just wanted to die. He tried to talk her out of it, tried to tell her, once again, that there will be other Olympics and she would be better then, she would feel better. But every time Emma thought about, Neal’s mocking words came back to her, haunting her.

She told Killian about it one night when they were out, having dinner. They were talking about the future and what they are going to do after Sochi and Killian asked her why she is pushing herself so much. So Emma told him what she talked to Neal and what he told her about sending a picture with the medal.

Killian told her that Neal was a jerk and that she should know she is much better than him. They are much better than Neal and his partner and with or without Emma being sick, they will still kick Neal’s ass.

Then after two long months the day came. They were at Sochi, they were waiting to go on the ice and give their best performance ever.

And they did.

Until they didn’t.

Emma missed a jump. She didn’t fall, but she put her hands down on the ice. And they both knew that was a forbidden thing to do in this sport, especially when at the Olympics. She just hoped they would not be penalized too much.

They weren’t. They still had a high score and they were in first place. At least for the moment. There were three other teams left in the competition, one of them being Neal and Tamara.

So for the next thirty minutes, Emma and Killian waited. After their program, they went in the waiting zone and they watched the other’s pairs programs on the big TV in the room and Emma had to admit they were all good. They all were great and on one hand Emma couldn’t wait for the final results, she couldn’t wait to see if they would won so she could finally breathe normally, but on the other hand she couldn’t wait to get out of the skates and relax.

And then forty minutes later Emma had tears on her face, Killian was behind her, his head on her shoulder and his arms around her shoulders, holding both her and the US flag. They were on the podium, wearing shining, gold, medals around their necks.

They won. Against all odds, against everything else, they won. They had done better than Neal and Tamara (who took silver), and Emma couldn’t have been more excited about it. She now had the Olympic gold!

“We did it, love,” Killian whispered to her while the Star-Spangled Banner was playing.

She tilted her head a little and whispered a small “thank you,” not knowing for sure if she was thanking him for being the best partner ever, the best friend someone could ask for or for never letting her down. Or for all of the above.

After that, they had interviews. They were asked how they felt, they were asked if they were happy but most importantly, they were asked what they were going to do after the Olympics. They had no idea what to answer to that since they never really talked about it, Emma didn’t want to talk about it. So they danced around the questions, they smiled, said they were happy, that they didn’t expect to win the gold and they didn’t know what they were going to do from now on.

Truth is, deep down, Emma knew what she was supposed to do when she was going back home.

She was supposed to lay low, take a break, recover. She was suppose to go to a doctor, take some tests.

She didn’t want any of that.

She wanted to train more, she wanted to dance. She wanted Killian always by her side.

But for the time being, at least, they were allowed to be happy and simply enjoy the moment.

That night everyone had a small party in US house, in the Olympic Village. Everyone was there: Neal and Tamara (it was their party too, after all), Regina and Mary Margaret Blanchard, the favorites at winning gold at Ladies Single Skating, Ruby Lucas, the “golden snowboarder of the US” as the media called her these days, and half of the hockey team, since apparently Killian was friends with them. The party was fun but tiring for Emma, so at one point in the night, she slipped through the people and went outside.

Not long after that, Killian found her. She was outside, on a chair, in the cold night of the Russian winter when she felt a blanket being placed on her shoulders by two strong hands. She didn’t need to look up to know who it was. She already knew he would find her out there.

“Are you okay?” Killian asked, sitting down in a chair next to her.

Emma looked at him and smiled, “I just needed a break.”

“That’s understandable,” Killian said, laughing.

“Those hockey guys can be really loud,” Emma said, laughing along with him.

Killian stopped laughing and nodded at her statment. “That is correct.”

“How did I not know you were friends?” Emma asked him, genuinely surprised.

“Robin was with Regina a long time ago and we kept in touch after they broke up,” Killian explained to her.

“They’re not together?” Emma asked surprised and watched as Killian nodded in confirmation. She saw how Regina and Robin were inside the house, how close they were and how… cute they looked during the party. “They don’t show it that well,” Emma added.

“Well, yes, Robin is still in love with  her.”

“That’s nice,” Emma said with a small smile.

“Yes,” Killian answered. “It is.”

Silence fell over them, but it was a nice silence. Looking away from him, Emma started to wonder what was going on in his head and if his thoughts were so crazy as her own.

“Are you okay, Emma?” Killian’s voice broke her out of her thoughts.

She looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, like I told you, I just needed a break.”

“No, I mean, are you really okay?” Killian asked again with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know,” Emma answered truthfully. She moved her eyes away from him again, but this time, as she was doing it, a cold breeze surrounded them and Emma shivered, even with the blanket around her.

“You should come inside,” Killian said and Emma rolled her eyes, because of course he saw her shivering.

“I’ll come. I just need a few more minutes alone,” Emma said, looking at Killian as he was raising from the chair.

“Sure,” he said, leaning down and pressing a kiss on her check and then went back inside.

Once Killian was back inside, Emma was left alone once again, with her thoughts. But soon after that, she heard the door opening again.

“Did you come back?”she called out.

“Killian is still inside if you’re talking about him,” Emma heard a female voice talking and she turned around to see Ruby. “May I?” Ruby asked pointing to the chair next to Emma.

Emma smiled at her and nodded, “Sure.”

Ruby sat down and looked at Emma with a wide smile on her face, “So, Emma, congratulations on your first gold medal.”

“Thank you! Congratulations to you too,” Emma said, knowing very well that earlier in the day Ruby also won a gold for the US.

“Thank you! I am glad I am no longer the only golden something of US in the media,” Ruby said laughing.

Emma narrowed her eyes at her, “What do you mean?” She asked confused.

“Oh you don’t know?” Ruby asked her and Emma could see surprise on her face.

“Don’t know what?”

“You and Killian are the new ‘golden couple’ of the country,” Ruby announced her excited.

Emma looked at her with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Very. People are excited every time you are on ice. Some say the ice is lucky it doesn’t melt after you finish your program.”

“Are you serious now?”

“Oh yeah. There are people who can’t wait for you to kiss. There are bets for when it’ll happen,” Ruby explained to her. “You don’t read Twitter?”

“I have a habit of avoiding Twitter when we are in the middle of a competition,” Emma told explained her.

“Well, honey, many people are sure you are dating in secret and some say you will soon announce the truth.”

Emma raised her hands in front of her and stopped Ruby, “We are not together.”

“Wait what?” Ruby asked. “You’re not?” She asked again, with confusion in her voice.

“No!” Emma assured her.

“Wow,” Ruby said, sounding surprised. “The chemistry is so tight when you are on ice. Are you sure you don’t feel anything for each other?” Ruby asked again.

“We are just very good friends. And partners. We work great together.”

“Honey, you don’t have that kind of chemistry without there being some kind of feelings from at least one of you.”

Emma opened her mouth to answer to her but right then Victor, from the hockey team, came out looking for Ruby. It was well known there was something between the two of them, so when Victor told Ruby that he was retiring for the night, Ruby quickly told Emma ‘good night’ and then followed him inside.

When Emma finally decided to go back inside, half an hour later and with even more crazy thoughts in her mind, there were only a few people left in the main room, including Killian. He looked at Emma with a questioning look and Emma motioned with her hands for him to follow her. She went towards her room and when she was inside in her room she left the door open and waited for Killian to follow her.

When he was inside her room he had a very confused look on his face. “Did something happen?”

“Did you know there are bets on when we are going to kiss? And that people believe that we are a couple?” Emma started abruptly . It wasn’t how she wanted to ask him that, her mouth just decided to talk.

“Erm…” Killian said, starting to scratch behind his ear. Emma had known him for a very long time; she knew he only did that when he was nervous about something.

“Oh my God! You knew?!”

“You just took me by surprise,” Killian said, avoiding her eyes.

“You knew, Killian?” She asked him again.

This time, Killian looked at her and a nice shade of pink in his checks. “Alright, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to know. You usually don’t care about what other people say on social media about us.”

“Well yes, but…,” she had to give him some credit on that one. She usually didn’t care about the rumors people were saying about them. In fact, if Emma was honest with herself, she didn’t even know why she cared so much about this now.

“Who told you?” Killian said coming closer to her.

Emma rolled her eyes but answered him. “Ruby said some things.”

“Some things?” Killian asked, raising an eyebrow at her, in question.

“About our chemistery and us,” Emma said.

“Us?”

“She said we wouldn’t have so much chemistry on ice without having some feelings,” Emma said, this time avoiding his eyes and letting her head down.

“Emma,” Killian said and she knew, if she would look at him now, he would have that look that was begging her to talk to him. It was a look that he always had when Emma started to pull away from him, a look that made her hate herself for avoiding him in things like that. A look she hated very much.

“I know, it’s stupid,” Emma answered, still not looking at him.

“It’s not,” Emma saw his left hand moving and coming under her chin. He pulled her chin up and looked into her eyes when he spoke the next sentence. “Emma, I love you, you know that right?”

“I love you too,” she answered honestly.

Emma knew he loved her, he told her that more than once, but he always meant it in a friendly way, he always said it before a competition or as an encouragement and Emma always said it back in the same way, not feeling anything else. But this time, when she said it, her heart jumped a few times and that scared her. A lot.

Instead of answering her, Killian moved closer, his face was nearer than ever and a small voice inside her was telling her he was going to kiss her. But instead he pressed his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. She recognised the move, it was what they always did before going on ice, they just stayed there, hugging, foreheads pressed together and eyes closed. They were wrapping themselves in their own bubble. So Emma closed her eyes and let herself losing in the feeling.

Neither of them talked about that specific subject again, after that night.

They returned to US a week later with gold medals around their necks and still not talking about the elephant in the room. Their future, her future. Also Emma tried to make her heart stop making her feel things every time Killian was touching her, but apparently that was an impossible task..

At the airport they were met by fans singing the national anthem. They had flowers for Emma, they offered their congratulations and Emma was stunned. She couldn’t believe they were so loved by so many people. They spent no less than two hours at the airport, signing autographs and taking pictures. There were even babies that their parents wanted them to take a picture with, and if Emma was being honest, she felt a little strange every time she was holding a baby for the pictures.

There was also press who, like always, wanted interviews with them. The same questions were asked as when they won, but this time people were adding a new question “Are you two a couple?”

The first person that asked them, made it look like they were asking about their professional relationship, not that they were in any other kind of relationship, so Killian started to answer as he thought it would be best.

“How does it feel like to be such an remarkable couple?” The journalist asked.

“It’s an honor for us to be here and compete for US and it’s pretty personal and special to us, as well, as partners-” Emma was following his answer but at the same time he was following the journalist’s reaction to his answer and when Killian said the word ‘partners’ she saw the wide grin on the man’s face and Emma quickly understand what the question was really about. So she hit Killian in the stomach, not subtle at all, and Killian stopped mid sentence to look at her with a very confused look on his face. Emma only raised her eyebrows and made big, wide eyes at him and he understood what was happening, “as skating partners it was really amazing for us. That’s it.” Killian answered. “Skating partners.” He emphasized once more before the journalist asked them another question.

After that, they started to dance around that specific question every time someone asked them and by the time they arrived home, the first interview was already at the tv and everyone was seeing Emma Swan hitting Killian Jones in the stomach when he was talking about their partnership. Everyone was commenting on that move, her stop and his emphasis on ‘skating partners’ and of course everyone was already coming up with conspiracy theories about how they are a secret couple but they don’t want to tell anyone.

It was not true at all. They were friends and that was all.

Killian didn’t help their cause a few hours later when he posted a picture on his Instagram with them hugging in the middle of the rink in Pyeongchang, with the US flag covering them both and the caption “we did it, love.”

And that was the start of that story but not the end. It was not even close to the end.

Everytime they were in the same place together, there were people asking them and making little comments about how good they look together and that perhaps they were already a couple, that you can’t spend so much time together and not be more that just friends. As if a man and a woman couldn’t be good friends without there being more than that.

But Emma tried to stay away from all of that, she had more important business. Like, perhaps, her own health.

It was not much she could do, really, after the first month back in US, after she was done with the media and some sponsor’s events, she started to look more into what was going on with her own health. She went from one doctor to the other and all of them told her the same thing. She had to live with the problem, her condition won’t get worse than the presence of the pain in her legs and her back, and even those, the doctors promised they were not going to always be present, and she had to learn how to not give up.

She knew how to do that, she was a fighter, as Killian kept reminding her, but it was hard. At least at first it was hard, until she found a good doctor that gave her some pills, it was hard. She couldn’t train more than three hours per day, she couldn’t jump the way she did before.

She found herself more than once trying to make Killian give up on her.

“You should give up on me and find another partner,” she told him one morning, after another sleepless night.

“You are out of your mind if you think I would ever do that, love.”

“I can't do complicated choreographies, Killian.”

“We will find a  way,” was all he said and then went back on the ice, stopping in the middle of the rink and waiting for her to follow him so they could practice another move.

She had to give him more credit, she knew that. He was just as stubborn as she was and she knew that he cared about her and he would not let her go, no matter how much she wished he would do that.

When the time for a new season came, Emma and Killian sit down and talked about what it meant for them. No matter how hard she wanted to do it, her jumps failed in 60% of the time, she still had to work on that. She told Killian, once again, that perhaps it would be best for him to find someone else and he, once again, told her that she was out of her mind and to stop telling him that. He will not leave her no matter how hard it is for her. No matter if they were missing a season or two.

So they made a decision. They would skip this season, work together more, so that Emma could get used to her new condition, perhaps go to a few galas and then, when they will be ready again, they will go back to competing.

They also made a decision about what they were going to say to the media. They announced they were taking a temporary break, and they didn’t know for how long exactly, they said they needed a break after all the work they did in the past seasons and at the games. But of course, not everyone believe them, at their first announcement there were questions about what was going on with them, if they will they stop working together, if there was any problem with their coaches? But they refused to give a real answer to any of those questions.

After that was done, they felt a little bit relaxed. They let themself enjoy the new quiet part of their lives. It was something they never really had. They never had time to do other things, try new sports, find new hobbies.

Emma started to work with a kinesiotherapist and a physiotherapist to regain the force in her legs and Killian was there with her every day to help her and encourage her when she felt like it was too much.

This new lifestyle brought them closer than ever.

Besides their trainings both together and separate, just for Emma, they started to spend many nights together at each other’s apartments, doing movie nights and TV shows marathons. They were just staying in when they didn’t feel like they were in the mood for anything else. They studied new programs together, making plans for the future, they tried to find new music, the watched almost every musical that was ever made, searching for good stories that could be recreated on ice (she said no to High School Musical though).

They also found they were good at other things. Emma started uni again, choosing to major in Tourism, since she had a passion in travelling around the world, and Killian found himself a new sponsor in Adidas (which made his fans really really happy).

One year later, they realised they were happier than ever. Their bond was stronger than ever and they proved each other they were able to go through anything as long as they were together.

Then one night it happened.

If anyone would have asked Emma about that night, she would have said she was drunk. She would say she doesn’t know how it happened and how they ended up like that, but truth be told, she knew. She knew every single detail.

They were invited to a party, David’s party, Killian’s friend from the hockey team and also Mary Margaret’s boyfriend. They thought it was a party like any other, they did not expect something big, but it was.

As soon as everyone was present at the party, Mary Margaret and David dropped the bomb in front of everyone. After one year of relationship, they were getting engaged. He asked, she said yes. They were happy, they were in love and they will get married.

The night was full of celebration for the newly engaged couple, there was alcohol, of course, and champagne, and perhaps both Emma and Killian had too much to drink.

They left together after midnight, and they decided that a walk back to Emma’s apartment would be good, the chilly air of the night would be good for them.

Of course it wasn’t.

On the way to the apartment their hands found each other. Killian took Emma’s hand in his and she did not protest at all, if possible, she was holding his hand tighter than ever. The feeling reminded her of the many moments when they were holding each other the same way, before starting a new program in a competition Then Killian drew her closer to him, let go of her hand and put his hand around her shoulder, stroking her left side. Lost in the feeling, Emma let her head drop on his shoulder and closed her eyes, still continuing to walk along with him.

“Would you have thought about that?” Killian started. “That they would end up here, when they met one year ago at that party in Sochi?”

“A lot can happen in a year,” Emma answered. “Feelings evolve.”

“That they do,” Killian answered and Emma’s drunk mind yelled at her that he was not talking just about David’s feelings for Mary Margaret.

When they finally arrived at Emma’s apartment, Killian was supposed to sleep on her couch, since he was too drunk to walk alone the rest of the road to his apartment.

After Emma was ready for bed she went to Killian to tell him goodnight and go back to her room to sleep for the rest of the night, but Killian stopped her. He took his hand on hers and drew her closer. When they were mere inches away from each other, Killian put his hands on Emma’s hips and from instinct, she put her hands on his shoulders. Killian lowered his head and pressed his forehead on hers. They did that move a hundred times in their lives and yet, this time it feel more different.  

“Killian, what are you doing?” Emma asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Killian whispered, with his eyes closed.

Emma closed her eyes as well and let herself fall even closer to his body, if that was possible. “We need to sleep,” she whispered.

“That we do,” Killian agreed with her, but he was still holding her in his arms.  “You know, Emma, David’s and Mary Margaret’s feelings aren’t the only ones that changed that night in Sochi,” Killian said.

At his words Emma opened her eyes and raised her head. “What do you mean?” She asked confused.

Killian opened his eyes as well and looked at her. “I… I shouldn’t tell you this,” he said, finally letting her go. “We are both drunk. I am sorry, Emma,” he said taking a step back.

Emma nodded at him, not trusting her voice to say something after what he just said, so instead Emma smiled at him.

“Goodnight, Killian,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders and getting closer to his check, with the intention of pressing a quick kiss on there, as a goodnight, like they did so many times before.

But when Emma’s lips were close to his check, Killian moved his head and her lips were pressed on his lips instead of their original destination. Yet, she did not stop or moved. And neither did he. They kept their lips pressed together and Killian moved for more only when he felt Emma wanting to break it.

So they kissed, for the first time ever and Emma was sure that her heart will soon jump away from her chest and run. Her hands moved in his hair and Killian’s hands moved on her body, from her shoulders to her back, then back up to her neck and finally in her hair. He touched her in those places for years and yet, it never felt like this.

They started to move towards Emma’s bedroom and stooped only when they were in her bed. Naked.

Emma woke up the next day, naked, in her bed, with Killian Jones’ arms around her. It was a nice feeling. A feeling that was present for a total of five minutes. Until panic arrived and all Emma wanted to do was run. Run far away from her bed, but most importantly, run far away from Killian and what they did. It scared her that they did it but what scared her the most was how good and perfect it felt.

Killian must have felt her panic because he started to wake up and when he realised where he was and what they did, he looked at Emma with something that looked more like hope than surprise or fear. And that exact looks made her want to run even faster than she wanted to do it before.

“Emma,” Killian said, his voice subtly begging her to not run.

Emma sit up and pulled the blanket tighter around her.“Don’t,” she said avoiding his eyes.

“Love,” Killian said, raising too and stretching his hand towards her cheek but he pulled it back when Emma avoided his touch.

“This was a mistake, Killian.”

“Was it?” Killian asked with a bit of desperation in his voice.

“We were drunk,” Emma said, finally looking at him.

And God what a mistake she did. She looked into his eyes and she saw something she never saw before. She saw love. He looked at her with an expression she knew all too well. He was using it when they were acting on ice. Only this time, he wasn’t acting. The love and hope in his eyes were real.

“Emma,” Killian tried again to touch her.

Emma shaked her head at him and stopped him. “No, Killian.”

Emma raised from her bed, pulling the blanket around her, so she could cover her naked body and trying not to think about the fact that Killian was still naked in her bed and went inside her bathroom and then just waited. She could hear Killian on the other side of the door and she guest that he was, most likely, getting dressed. Then she heard him moving around the room and prayed that he will not come to the bathroom door. She heard him coming closer and then she heard something hitting the door to the bathroom slowly but nothing else. He didn’t knocked at the door, didn’t say anything and after just a few seconds she heard him moving around the room again.

She left the bathroom only when she heard the door at the apartment opening and closing.

“What have I done,” Emma said to herself once she was out of the bathroom. She sat on the bed, layed down, took the pillow that was still warm from Killian, hugged it and finally let the tears fall.

For the next few days she tried to to avoid him. She did not go to the rink, she avoided his calls and when Cora called her and asked if everything was okay, Emma told her that she was having a few bad days and that the pains were back.

In reality, the pain was back, yes, but not the one in her legs nor the one in her back. This time her heart was hurting her.

Her stupid heart was hurting her and was making her question everything. Was her partnership with Killian over? Did she messed everything by sleeping with him? Will they ever be friends again?

She was scared that this was it. She messed everything, the only good thing in her life.

The answer to all her questions came after two weeks of avoiding Killian, when a knock on the door made her pause the tv show she was watching, or better said, the show she was trying to watch if she wouldn’t have been more interested in her phone than in what happened at the tv.

She paused the show and went to open the door, expecting to see Mary Margaret on the other side, but instead there was Killian. He was dressed in jeans and he was wearing the hoodie they were given a year ago, at Sochi, with the USA flag on it. But the most surprising element was the golden medal around his neck.

“What are you doing here?”

“I know you are avoiding me,” Killian said, not answering to her question. “Please let me in,” he begged her.

Emma made room for him and he stepped inside her apartment. Once inside he turned to look at her and Emma pointed at his neck. “What are you doing with that?”

Killian looked at the medal and then at her and started to talk, “Remember the day we won?”

“I will never be able to forget that night.”

“Yeah, me neither. Because everything changed that day.”

“I know, Killian, but it doesn’t explain what are you doing here, with your medal.”

“That day changed more than you think, Emma,” Killian started. “It changed me. It changed the way I thought about us.”

His words made her take a step back. She closed her eyes, breath in and out a few times and then opened them again. She was not ready to have this conversation with him.

“Killian.”

“Let me talk, please,” he begged, coming closer to her and taking her hand in his. He waited for Emma to react and when she nodded he started to talk again. “Back then on that night, when you asked me if I knew people were betting on us. I knew. I damn well knew. I knew many were saying that we will kiss at the end of our program. I wanted to do it, to be honest, I wanted to kiss you right there and then but I knew it would scare you. I knew it was not the right thing to do it. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time Emma.”

“Killian…,” Emma tried to stop him, starting to feel the tears gathering in her eyes.

“I know,” Killian said with a sad smile. “It took me a lot to think about this, because I know you and I know that you will, most likely, hate me for doing this,” Killian said putting his free hand on her cheek and Emma tilted her hand, letting herself get lost in his touch.

“Emma I know you believe that night was a mistake, but I don’t. Because what I feel for you is real,” Emma opened her mouth to tell him that he was wrong, she did not hate him for doing it. She could never hate him. “If you tell me you don’t feel the same, it’s totally okay, I will understand, I will leave and then continue to be your friend and if you want, we will never talk about this, or that night. We go back to being best friends, but please Emma, please, stop avoiding me because I can’t live with that,” Killian begged her and as he finished his sentence his voice broke and a few tears started to run down his cheeks.

Seeing him like this, so vulnerable for the first time in front of her, Emma let her own tears starting to come out and run down her cheeks. She wanted to say something, she wanted to tell him that she feels the same, that he is not alone in his feelings but she was never good with words. That was Killian’s territory. He was the one with the words and she was the one with the actions.

So she did what she always did best. She took two steps forward, grabbed the labels of his jacket and pulled him towards her.

This time, when their lips met, they felt softer than before. They started to kiss like their life depended on in, like there was no tomorrow. Years of sexual tension and chemistry and love were purred into that one kiss.

“I feel the same,” Emma said, minutes later, when she broke the kiss. “I just didn’t know how to tell you or how to show you. I also panicked really hard that morning,” Emma admitted, looking into his very blue eyes.

Killian looked at her with a small smile, “I understand.”

“What are we doing now?” Emma asked him a small smile.

“I have a feeling that nothing will change with us.”

Emma nodded at him, hoping that he will be right. “I want to keep it between us. For now.”

“Your heart’s desires, Swan. That’s all I want for you.”

Killian was right. Nothing really changed between them. Their relationship was the same only with some really small differences. Good ones. Now Killian was touching her in places he never did before, his lips were on her skin more often during practice. There were also lots of kisses.

They had to find a way around the dates. At first they liked to believe they can do it but then, looking at other couples, they realised they wanted that as well. So they went out and tried not to care if anyone saw them. They would say it’s just a simple going out between friends. They were each other’s plus one at events, their first big event being Mary Margaret’s and David’s wedding. Luckily there weren't any paparazzi at the wedding and Emma and Killian were able to be as close to each other as they wanted.

They friends asked them if they were finally together, but they lied, said their relationship grew closer due to Emma’s problems and their break from skating.

It wasn’t really a lie, it was just… half of the truth.

The next year, at the beginning of the summer, one morning, during the breakfast, Emma opened a new but at the same time old subject for them.

“You know how I started to be good again?” Emma asked him, referring to her skating.

And she was. She was, once again, in full form. Her jumps were, if it was possible, even much better than before. And all thanks to Killian, their coaches and her amazing doctors.

Killian smiled wide at her. “You were always good.”

“You know what I mean,” Emma said, rolling her eyes.

Killian nodded at her. “Your skating,”

“My skating,” Emma said nodding at him. She took a deep breath before continuing and then started to talk again. “I want to go back.”

“Back?” Killian asked with an eyebrow raised. “You mean back in competitions?”

“I am 26 years old. I have one gold medal. I am sick, but I kick the diseases ass every day. I want another medal. Or two, who knows,” Emma said determinate.

“In Pyeongchang?” Killian asked with a smirk on his face.

“In Pyeongchang,”she said, mirroring the smirk on Killian’s face. “It’s all about Pyeongchang.”

“Okay then,” Killian said.

“Really?”

“Of course,” Killian said with excitment in his voice. “We have two years to make the tour of Worlds and National and we will get to Pyeongchang. We’ll do it Emma.”

Emma nodded at him. “And then we retire.”

Killian nodded too. “And then we retire.”

“It’s all about Pyeonchang,” Emma said. “This time it’s personal.”

For the next two years they did exactly that. They trained harder than ever. They came together with a new dance, a new song. Emma took care of the costumes and she kept them a secret as long as she could (which really, wasn’t too long with Killian basically living in her apartment). They made their comeback announcement with a promotional video, that was the most romantic thing they ever did.

People welcomed them back with opened arms and hugs, and flowers thrown on the ice after their first dance back.

Their short dance at the first Grand Prix left both of them in tears. They could practically feel the love that was coming from the people in the audience.

It was like that for two years. Competition after competition, medals and trophies won. They were never lower than the second place. They were, as people were saying, melting the ice with every program they had.

Emma was feeling better than ever. She felt alive on the ice, back in the competition.

Also the rumors about them were getting more and more with every new apparition on ice after their break. People were studying their moves, they were reading a lot of things in Killian’s every touch on her body, every time he was hugging her after a program. People were seeing things, things they tried to keep a secret. But it was okay. They were still trying, they were still dancing around the question even if, at the end of the day, no one believed them.

At one point they got tired of dancing around the question so they stopped doing it and instead, to keep up the ‘we are still just friends’ image, they started to joke on the subject. They started to add wood to the fire of rumors, feed the public. Saying that they are “very good friends” and “skating partners” and “business partners” (they had to stop with that one thought, when the whole population on Twitter started to mock Killian for using it in every interview). They had fun most of the time.

“You don’t sleep very much, I know that for a reason,” Killian said in the middle of an interview and Emma could swear they broke the internet that day.

During a game they were asked to answer questions about each other but without looking at each other.

“What is the color of your partner’s eyes?” They were asked.

“Blue,” Emma answered without adding more details.

“Green. Gorgeous green,’ Killian answered, and Emma was pretty sure she was hearing the screams of their fans in the distance.

In February 2018 they flew to Korea.

They gave their best in Pyeongchang in all their apparitions and they won. Not one but two golden medals. They were strong, they didn’t cry. Not when they finished their programs, nor when they found out they won or when they were on the podium.

People knew they were not crying, not in front of the cameras, they were crying after, in the privacy of their room. And everyone was okay with that, they were already showing more emotions than any other pair ever did, when they were on ice.

But at the end of the Gala, the cameras caught something when they were filming Emma Swan and Killian Jones. They saw Emma whispering something in Killian’s ear and then they saw Killian exploding in tears. Killian Jones, the man who never  never cried on camera, was crying and hugging Emma Swan in the middle of the rink.

People asked them what was that. What did she say? Why did he start crying?

But Emma and Killian never told them. They said it was because of the emotions from the last few days, the fact that they were retiring, that they will never again be on a rink in such a big competition, maybe just for galas and presentations and Stars on Ice. Still, some didn’t believe them, some thought that it was something else, that Emma and Killian were hiding something.

It was true, people just didn’t know it. They had their rumors, rumors than might or might not have been so far away from the truth.

But when Killian posted, one year later, a picture with him, Emma, a sparkling ring on her finger and a baby girl in her arms people understood what was really going on at that gala.


End file.
